Queer, There and Everywhere

Brian's (Gale Harold) new baby is the topic of a conference call between Michael (Hal Sparks), Ted (Scott Lowell), and Emmett (Peter Paige). The three men are all chatting from their jobs, and Ted is simultaneously ogling some internet porn. He quickly puts down the phone when his boss walks into his office. Neither Ted nor Michael is out at work, and Michael even feels compelled to laugh when an obnoxious co-worker makes fun of gay customers. Justin (Randy Harrison) graphically describes his encounter with Brian to his schoolmate, Daphne (Makyla Smith). While Justin is telling Daphne he's in love, Brian is seducing a married man at a business meeting, leading to a quickie in the men's room. Michael, in an effort to conceal his sexual preference, encourages the interest of a pretty female co-worker, Tracy (Lindsey Connell). He's roped into socializing with a small group after work, and Emmett gives him a sports magazine to study, so he'll pass for straight. Brian gets into a tiff with Lindsay (Thea Gill) and Melanie (Michelle Clunie) because they want him to take out a one-million-dollar insurance policy to provide for Gus, their baby boy. That night, Justin comes looking for Brian, who avoids him. Michael feels responsible, and takes Justin to a diner, where he explains to the stricken teen that "Brian doesn't do boyfriends." They're waited on by a wise-cracking middle-aged waitress, Debbie (Sharon Gless of Cagney & Lacey fame), who turns out to be Michael's mom. Michael is in denial about his crush on Brian, but Justin picks up on it quickly. Justin drops in on Brian, interrupting another anonymous tryst. Brian gets over his annoyance long enough to tell Justin, "I don't believe in love.", Michael is coerced into going out on a mixed date with a woman from work; Justin's feelings for Brian intensify; Lindsay and Melanie inadvertently offend Brian by asking him to sign an insurance form for Gus.