Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading

Father Dick Byrne (Maurice O'Donoghue) tricks Craggy Island's most famous sons into giving up their sinful vices for Lent. Ted (Dermot Morgan) has to resist smoking, Jack (Frank Kelly) has to give up "drink," and Dougal (Ardal O'Hanlon) must pack away his inline skates. But old addictions are hard to drop, and the realities of sobriety are too much for the three priests. With withdrawal symptoms driving them toward jitters and insanity, they hire Sister Assumpta (Rosemary Henderson) to set them back on track. Assumpta tries to put the Fathers through a grueling ten-step process, involving ice baths, watery soups, brick bedding, and daily beatings. When Ted learns that they have been led astray by Byrne and that Assumpta has indulged in an ungodly chocolate frenzy, he uses Assumpta to get revenge on Byrne.