A Song for Europe

Ted (Dermot Morgan) dismisses Dougal's (Ardal O'Hanlon) Euro Song fever, but changes his tune upon learning that Father Dick Byrne (Maurice O'Donoghue) is entering the competition. Ted and Dougal pen lyrics for a song called "My Lovely Horse," but they underhandedly use an obscure Norwegian song as their backing track after their own musical abilities prove fruitless. The Fathers share a music-video dream of their song (with a full-blown performance by the Divine Comedy). With their confidence sky-high, things get iffy at the Song for Ireland stage, where Dick Byrne pulls out all the stops à la Scott Walker and receives a standing ovation. Things get more sour when Ted hears the Norwegian song piped over the intercom. Forced to revert to their own musical backing, they perform to a dead-silent audience. Thanks to shady promoters seeking a sure loser, Ted and Dougal win the Ireland stage and advance to the Euro Song competition itself, where they receive universal scores of "zero.", Dougal is extremely enthusiastic about the Eurosong Contest, so Ted decides that he and Dougal will 'borrow' a tune from an old Eurosong hopeful and enter it as their own. Unfortunately, fate is waiting to throw a few bum notes into the deal.